Here I am

You know I clicked on my blog today to delete it. I thought I haven't posted anything for months. I have gone through so much turmoil in my life I don't need the pressure to do one more thing. A funny thing happened. I read through my posts. Although there aren't very many I realized that the woman writing those posts is already happy and healthy. She is ready to loose the weight.

It is 6 months later and I have now moved across the country and moved with my children into my parents home. I have not lived at home since I was 17 years old. So there are a lot of adjustments. Moving a 2700sq ft house into 3 bedrooms and a garage is a huge one. Living with my parents, another one.  Leaving my friends behind. My children starting new schools. I need to become a full time working single mother. Oh and did I mention I am living with my parents. Haha. They are wonderful and very supportive. I am so grateful for their generosity but I am an independent woman and it is difficult for me. I am used to doing everything by myself. However I know this is where the Lord wants us to be and we are being blessed for it.

So how's my weight you ask? Good question. Not so great. I'm back up to 219lbs. I am embarrassed. I hate looking at my arms or profile in the mirror. This is NOT the woman I want to become. I now have new obstacles with living in my parents home. They are both severely overweight and have type 2 diabetes. They do not have good eating or exercising habits. My goal is to continue teaching my children. In the last week, we have already played soccer for a few hours, went on a bie ride and took an hour long hike in the woods. But I need to get ready to reach my goals. They have not changed and it has been helpful for me to reread them on my blog.

High's over last 6mths:
1. Divorce finalized
2. Finished teaching at 2 universities
3. Ran 1/2 marathon in the rain with my sister
4. Rode 100m bike ride with my friends
5. Moved across the country

Low's:
1. crazy x-husband
2. leaving friends & loved ones
3. The house has been under contract 4 times, had 9 offers and last one canceled because the dodo flooded the house 3 days after I moved. Under contract again but not finished yet.

Starting over takes courage. It doesn't mean you will be perfect. So time to get a clean start. Here we go again :)

Tip of the day: It's never too late to start over

Courage

I love this quote on courage. I believe it takes a lot of courage to start again, to try after someone or something hits you to the ground. I have dealt with what I perceive now to be an abusive relationship for many years. It hurts. Healing and forgiveness is a slow process. It isn't always people that push you over. It may be your health or your financial situation. Sometimes life just keeps sending storms your way. I believe it is inside each one of us to have hope and begin again. Remember that every Olympic athlete had to fight through the falls, the failures, and discouragement. It was essential that they pick themselves up each time. If they quit they would never have become the best in the world. We each have this ability inside of us. Remember you only fail if you quit trying.

Tip of the day: Never give up on yourself!!!

Should I or shouldn't I?

 Here I was at walmart looking for my luna bars. My eye wandered over to the next shelf that had weight loss supplements. I have always stayed away from these because I have a thyroid problem and do not want to mess up my metabolism anymore than necessary. But I fell prey to advertising. I know Jillian Micheals encourages clean living and healthy eating. I decided if she was promoting this product it was fine. WRONG! I bought it and brought it home. I spent a little time on the web researching before I started taking it. I'm glad I did. I discovered there is a current law suit. According to ABC news "Biggest Loser star and fitness guru Jillian Michaels is being sued for endorsing a diet cleanse supplement that contains allegedly dangerous ingredients." ABCnews Micheals law suit I also found comments such as "Please ladies and gentlemen listen to me when I say these pills do not work". Woah this is too much controversy for me to want to try this product. I'm taking it back today.

Tip of the day: Research any supplement or program before you start it!

Stay away from....

Have you missed me? Haha. I've been so crazy with work, kids, stupid man, and all the insanity of my life. Good news: I made it through Valentine's Day with a little help from my friends who brought me a lot of chocolate. Between godiva and dove, I gained weight. Oh quelle surprise! Sometimes I think it is more important to make it through than kill yourself. It is probably that mentality that got me to the weight I am. 

I have had difficulty staying away from my treats. I will eat very well but then eat a few cookies I made for the kids. So my friend and I made a goal to stay away from any refined sugars for 24 hours. It was much harder than it should have been but I did it. I did it! I was frustrated with myself how difficult it was. When you look at my fat gain - you know that pretty tire around my stomach I carry around, it screams sugar problems. So I realized that it need to remember mind over body and focus on my goals.

The tip of the day is: stay away from yummy fatty delicious chocolates if you can't stop at 1!